So, the 8 week session of Yoga (which upon looking closer is actually 10 weeks...yay? ) is a Corporate thing that Ceridian is doing here at the office one day a week. I decided I want to actually make a commitment to working out at least 4-5 times a week (that might not seem like a big deal, but to me - it is!!) so I thought, I'm going to get a membership for one month unlimited classes - with that I can go to any of the classes they offer...like hot yoga (duh), flow yoga (yeah right), and even spin classes!! - which I got particularly excited about. Thats my favorite piece of equipment at the gym...
I trot off to pay for this 30 day membership and get there and BAM the guy at the counter is a guy I went to highschool with...all fit and muscular and HE is going to be one of the trainers with spin class...Immediately, I say to myself - oh.crap.are.you.KIDDING.me! (side-note -I was wearing single digit size pants in highschool, so you can imagine my horror and embarrassment). In reality, I doubt he even knew who I was, or noticed (I should say 'cared') that I've gained I dunno, like 70 lbs since then.
All of a sudden I get all insecure and anxious and start being completely irrational and thinking 'I don't belong here! I'm going to be surrounded by people who are good at this and fit and maintaining a healthy lifestyle...they are all going to judge me because my addiction to food is visable so they are going to think I just don't care about myself - that I'm not serious about this...I wish my addiction was smoking - then they'd never know - yeah that'd teach them!' All these foolish things fluttered about in my mind for the 30 seconds it took to make the yay or nay decision to sign up. Thankfully I started thinking clearly again and I thought, hey maybe 'these people' will be able to get me where I want to be and encourage me along the way to reach my goals, maybe they aren't these scary judgemental people - maybe they do this so they can help people like me to get healthy...I have to stop caring about everyone else and what I think they may think and just do this. Do it for ME!
So, I went against every grain in my insecure-fat-girl body and continued to sign up for this 30 day thing.
I start tonight...at 5:30. First Hot Yoga class in a studio...on a matted floor...how exciting! I'll let you know how it goes.
Wish me luck!
I felt the same way, and now that I have been given the opportunity to be a trainer at Naturally Fit, that is totally not how we think!! You all give us the motivation and inspiration to do what we love. You show us that you leave the weakness on the gym floor everytime you leave. You get stronger in many ways. That is what we see!! We see you pushing through anything that we throw at you, we see that determination in your eyes. We see huge milestones each and every class!! Most importantly we see success!!!
ReplyDeleteYou can do this! Deep breath! I am here for you! :)
So proud of you Jill. Proud of you for wanting to be healthy and proud of you for doing something like this that keeps you accountable to others...it'll be motivating.
ReplyDeleteYou can do it Jill. 60lbs is what I lost and if I can do it, you certainly can do it!
Looking forward to hearing how your class went!
Wishing you great success tonight!
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