In a relationship

Ok, it's been forever and a day since I've posted on here.  I didn't even finish my posts of my 1st Jamaica trip...but I will do that soon.  For now, I'm posting to say I am going back - only this time for other reasons...

I'm sure alot of you have noticed there was a "relationship" status change on facebook...dun dun dun!  And I'm sure you've also noticed there is a handsome Jamaican man in my profile picture....dun dun dun! Have you figured it out? dun du...anyway...

Since so many people have been asking what the heck, how did you meet, is it serious blah blah blah.  I thought hmmm I'll just blog about it and it will likely answer most people's questions...if you don't want to read a chick flick type story - STOP NOW or forever hold your peace...or something...

Alright, in case you haven't figured it out - I met a  guy, Andree, while I was in Jamaica.  He is a member of the church that our group was affiliated with that set up the missions trip.

In the beginning

I first met Andree at church on Sunday a couple of days into the trip and got a quick introduction and that was it until the end of the week when our team put on two Youth Nights at the church (Axe & Adze). 

Andree had come out and the whole group was playing games and he and I kept stealing glances and laughing on the first night and he taught our team a game (Rooster) at the end of the night, and I thought man, this guy is a lot of fun, and I asked him if he was coming out again the next night and he said "sure!".  The next night was the same sort of set up, except this time he and I ended up having a couple of hours to sit and chat and we just clicked! He was asking questions like ‘are you married, why not, are your parents alive, are they still together, do you have children, etc’ it wasn’t just ‘hey, nice day today’ and that was really nice, it showed me he took interest in me.  The evening ended and he gave me his phone number in case I wanted to connect when I got home again.

Call Me Maybe

The next day we were in the bus and I was telling Bev about the conversations and that I have his number and should I call or shouldn’t I...(I later found out that, Andree knew I had this conversation because he’s good friends with our bus driver Earl! Ugh, how embarrassing - he thinks it's hilarious).  Anyway, I got back to PEI and was still thinking about what I should do, and I was showing my family pictures and I told them about him and they said – go for it, the worst that can happen is he’s like ‘hey, it was nice to meet you, glad you got home safe, take care’.  So, 2 days after getting home, I called. 

Best. Decision. EVER.

Andree was very excited to hear from me, turns out! He was like ‘ohh, it so nice to hear your voice!’ and that melted me, coz I’m a girl and that’s what we do. We had a great chat and he started calling about  1-2 times a week then it quickly became 2-3 times and for the last few months it's been at least once a day.

Here and Now

Andree. Is. Incredible. Seriously, this man is amazing. I can't wait for everyone to meet him. He's sweet, loving, kind and so funny! I feel so blessed to have him in my life and we are excited to see where this goes. Things have definitely been moving right along, after all we've had nothing to do but talk about everything under the sun with each other and I think it has strengthened our relationship in so many ways, because neither of us would waste our time in this type of a situation if we couldn't see it going somewhere in the future.

I'm so excited to go there (in 9 days) and to meet his family and friends (before I steal him away from all of them and ship him here with me!) and to get a glimpse of his everyday life! 

I'm so happy and God is working everything out. He has opened doors that were way beyond what Andree and I could have imagined.  There are still many doors that need opening, like eventually getting him here to Canada for example, but by God's grace those things will come about when the time is right.

Jamaica - Day 5

On Tuesday, we went to Mt. Peto Primary school for an hour or so. As soon as we pulled up there were kids coming over to us...we ended up making a big circle and started doing the Hokey Pokey and the kids kept joining into the circle and just loved it!

We went inside & did our little songs and skits for them, I was standing next to this group of boys that were probably in 3rd or 4th grade, and they were the cutest little boys in THE WORLD.  They were giggling at the silly songs we were doing because they were obviously wayyy too cool to join in. I asked them if I could take a picture and started video taping instead and when they realized I was taping instead of clicking a picture they cracked right up and I got a nice little pic of some of them laughing about it.  Then we all went outside and played and some of the kids wanted to either get their picture taken or keep taking pictures with the camera’s – so cute.

Then, we went to Mt. Peto Basic school (3-5 yr olds) and we got to meet Earl’s (our driver all week) wife Blossom – she is the principal there.  We played bubbles & parachute games with the kiddies and stayed for about an hour. 

Then we went to Pastor Kingsley’s school at Axe and Adze (his church/school) and got there just as they were getting their lunch’s ready – a few of us got to serve the children their rice/beans and chicken dinner’s and the teacher kept saying “don’t leave anything on your plates!”  They continued to say to me that for some of the children this is the only meal they would get that day, and that really struck me.

For our song/skit time I had two little ones come sit with me and they were adorable!!! One little one sat on my lap the WHOLE time and we all broke up into little groups for stories and I got to read my FAVE kids book ever (I’ll love you forever) to this little lambie.  We also did a craft and I was helping this little girl named Jade and she was 3 and just ADORABLE!!

We stayed there until school was out and we were waiting for the children’s rides to come to find out about 25 of them all get picked up with ONE taxi the size of a Toyota Matrix!!!! The kids were piled in everywhere on each others knees – Little 3 yr old Jade was sitting on the driver’s lap as they pulled away...it was such a shock for all of us to see, they didn’t have any booster/car seats not to mention seatbelts – oh, also not to mention the ROADS – they are in rough shape...it was just nuts.

Jamaica - Day 4

Monday!!! We went to the Jamaican School for the Deaf.  What an amazing experience.  It's basically a boarding school for K-gr 12.  We all piled into the dining hall and we had brought some puppets with us and we had all learned how to sign our names so we could introduce ourselves and you could tell they were snickering at our lack of skill with their language! Either way, it was great. As soon as we got in the hall, there was a little girl, Karla, that I waved to and she came running over to me and just wrapped her arms around my legs. I can repeat myself a million times with this but the overwhelming feeling that comes over you when you just see a child and they run to you like that is very hard to describe.  She sat with me for the rest of the time while the team did puppet shows and sang songs (with lots of actions of course!). She totally melted my heart.

After that, they all went back to class and that is when Marcy (She was the matron of the school) shared with us some of the history with these kids.  One story she shared with us was about a boy named Conrad. He had more then just hearing problems - he was delayed in many other areas, he also had never even been trained to go to the washroom.  He was 12 years old. I don’t know what was wrong with his family life and parents, but he was very obviously neglected and in need of a stable, loving environment.

Marcy graciously took him in and he stayed on-site with the rest of the students but he also lived close enough that he could go home on weekends or at the very least holidays.  After a few months being there his progress came along great!! He was learning so much and catching on in school and he went home a couple of times throughout the year and just a few months ago he went back home again and didn’t show up again to school.  It happens every so often that kids don’t come back, but Marcy was concerned in this case and contacted Conrad’s father and found out Conrad had died.  There was a pit that was dug 6ft deep on their property and there had been a lot of rain and that pit was full of water, and Conrad was found upright in this pit.  His family never did get an autopsy done, but Marcy decided it was important to know what happened and got one done for him and the results said he didn’t even have any fluid in his lungs.  She never will really know what happened to him. Marcy and others put together funeral arrangements for Conrad and so many of his new friends and teachers showed up, but not one person from his family came.

Marcy is such an inspiration. There are about 50 kids that attend her school and because it is a private boarding school there is a tuition of course, but only a very small percentage of parents actually pay tuition, and Marcy still doesn’t turn them away.  They rely on fundraisers and churches & very little money from tuition to feed all these children everyday as well as pay the bills that come with having their facilities (2 buildings for school classrooms all grades, 1 dining hall, and 1 two story building that is the dorms) and to pay for the staff.  Marcy doesn’t money (or not much of any) until all of these things are taken care of first.  And yet, she is joyful and praises God for all she does have and for bringing these kids into her life and school.

She also shared with us that she went to church that week and she had no food in her cupboards and her and her children hadn’t eaten since the day before and she was given a couple dozen eggs for the school and 1 doz for herself.  She was THRILLED!! She didn’t know how she was going to find food for her family, and the children at the school. We also brought with us money  “a love gift” and gave it to her and she wept and she gave all the glory to God and praised him for being “right on time!!” Then she left shortly after to go get groceries!

Then some of us walked down to a Basic school ( 1 teacher with 10-12 kids ages 3-5) that was down the road a little and as soon as we got there we got hugs from every single kid…it was so adorable! We went in their classroom and sang songs did a puppet show, then we took them outside and blew bubbles – that was a huge hit! All the kids we went to see LOVED the bubbles!!  

Then we went back to the Deaf school to get the rest of the team and as we were walking back, some of the friendly neighbors offered us some coconuts from their trees! YUM! They were delish!!! Then we all headed back home and the girls took off to our dorm and we had a few hours of some good ole fashioned girl talk!  Perfect way to end the day!

Turbo!!

Taking a break from Jamaica for a moment...I went with my two older sisters to Turbo last night.  It's a mixture of aerobics/zumba/ufit/bootcamp...it's basically evil.

Actually, it was kinda fun, and I surprised myself with how much I could keep up, well for a first-timer at least! (yay yoga!) I was definitely hurtin' during the workout...it is intense man!! and just when she starts counting down the last few reps, she loses count at 3!! and says it again a couple of times...who can't count from 3-1?

I'd never heard of this before, but she did this thing called Crazy Arms...she wasn't lying! Basically you can't put your arms to your sides for an entire song (one of those long 4 minute songs...).  You might think, oh Jill, that's doesn't sound hard - oh yeah? Try it! Put your arms straight out, and up and out and do little circles - just try it...for 4 minutes.  I thought my arms were going to fall off, they still might. But man, what a workout.  I'll have to try it again.

Also!! I signed up for my fitness pal online, and it's the coolest thing ever.  It basically is an online food/exercise journal where you can log all your info and it calculates everything to say this is how many cals you should have in a day, and keeps track of how many cals you burned for a certain exercise...And it tells you the meal you had that day - if you ate it everyday, in 5 weeks you would weigh XXX lbs.  It's freakin' awesome. You type in "tim horton's double double" and it tells you how many cals...you type in Rice cake with nutella...and it tells you how many cals. The database has SO much to choose from even different name brands of rice cakes or Jane's chicken..or anything! It's FREE and you can also get the free app for your phone too...do it!!! It's an awesome way to keep track of everything and it doesn't take long at all!

myfitnesspal.com.   You won't regret it!

Jamaica - Day 3

SUNDAY!!! yay! We went to Kingsleys church in the morning and unfortunately because it was Kingsley's dad's funeral that day, there weren't as many members as there usually would be because they were all going to be travelling to the funeral.  BUT there were still some there and it was such a great service...I loved the music they did,  they had one guy Mickey leading the music and playing electric guitar. Alot of the songs were one's we knew (with their spin on them) and some were new (like the greeting song!) They had a time for us to all walk around and shake hands and as they did this they sang an actual greeting song and it was upbeat and just awesome! Not to mention their singing with their accents, and their style of music, it was just like I'd pictured it to be.

The preaching that morning was so great.  I loved how they just took a passage from the Bible and read it and just explained it - gave us the story from it.  It wasn't super theological or full of analogies, it was simple and easy to understand and so well done.  We had a chance at the end of the service to introduce ourselves to some of the members of the church there, I had a moment to speak to Mickey the music leader and to meet another guy named Andree (with two e's) as well as a few others and it was such a pleasure to meet and briefly talk to some of these people...what a blessing they were to each of us.

After church we came back to the college and our team (of 15 kids, grades 11 & 12, and 4 leaders by the way) got together and we played "the Animal game" and we just had a blast with each other. 

That evening we went to Mt. Stewart church, it was so neat! Pastor Dwayne (I'll just call him P-dwiddy) didn't have any instruments on the platform with him BUT he did have a bunch of tamborines and hand drums at the back of the church, which is where the congregation sat - except us white goodie goodies that sat in the first front rows lol, and they played them for all the worship songs!! SO COOL. Some of the little kids sat with our team and one little girl in particular that was close to me caught my eye.  She was probably around 5 yrs old, and when the music started she hopped of the bench and ran to the back of the room and brought up a tamborine and she had amaaaazing ryhthm! It was INSANE all of us were like oh my gosh, do you see this right now??! It was crazy. Brandon and I play drums and we were both completely shocked.  She was SO CUTE. 

Then after the meeting was over we were getting her to keep playing it and our girls were dancing and this little one was laughing so hard at our girls dancing and then Jason (head honcho) came over and he started dancing all silly and she just roared laughing...and she was still playing along the whole time she was laughing! It was music to our ears and she was SO precious...not to mention her laugh was an evil cackle...it was hilarious!!

That evening we went back home and had our "family time" and prepared ourselves for Day 4 when we would go to Jamaica School for the Deaf!

Jamaica - Day 2

Our first night was great, breakfast was at 7 each morning (except Sunday's it was at 8) so there were alot of tired faces that first morning, including mine...and I spotted coffee and I was PUMPED! so I get my coffee all set up add the powdered milk and throw in a nice couple a spoons of sugar and gingerly bring it up to my lips to taste the liquid gold...and that's when I realized I had put salt in my coffee.  This was so beyond disappointing 1) I felt bad that I'd have to throw it out, 2) SALT, I really don't like salt..I never add it to anything (unless the recipe calls for it of course)...it was all I could taste with that meal - it was nasty. Needless to say, that was my last time trying the coffee...

After breakfast we all piled in the van for an adventure day! We went to a place called Black River Safari and we had a boat tour where we saw some crocs (not the shoes) that were named and the Tour guide Roger could literally call for them by say Tut Tut and they would saunter over to the boat and Roger would feed them out of his hand...it was INSANE.  It was so neat and the River was stunningly beautiful...the water looked dark and kind of reminded me of camp water but to prove to us that it was just the reflection of the peat at the bottom of the river that made it dark, Roger had an empty waterbottle and gathered some of the river water and it was crystal clear! It was so neat and then he pulled our boat up to some Mangrove trees and the kids were able to climb all over them for a few minutes - pretty cool! THEN we continued down the river and he stopped the boat again and said OK this is where we can go swimming...And we did and it was like BATH water...and no crocs in sight just so we are clear...It was gorgeous!!

We left there and went to a place called Paradise that was a restaurant right in front of the ocean and it was delish!!! Then we were off again to Y.S. Falls, it was so beautiful!  I keep trying to load pictures but IT WONT LET ME and then I lose all my unsaved things so I give up. Check out my facebook for photos haha.

Anyway, So we got a chance to actually go swimming in the falls! it was awesome...but chilly like PEI waters! There was a rope that you could use to jump in and it was a blast!! Then on the same grounds were some gift shops and some pools and loungers and it was GREAT!! There was even a river with some little rapids that you could take a tube and float down ...or so that's how it was explained to me.  I was told that you get a tube and the current takes you down the river and rapids and I thought you'd just chill out on your tube and enjoy the view...FALSE.

I paid 8 bucks to row myself down a current-less river and into ever tree that came out over the water...and when I did get myself more in the middle I bascially rowed in circles...I tried to even my strokes but the tube was big enough for my hiney AND I had a lifejacket on and my knees were up to my face and I had no control.  I couldn't get my self seated on the tube in a way where I could easily row around...but I thought we were lazily going to let the current take us - in a straight path- all the way to the end. FALSE. so there was 2 tour guides one in the front and one in the back...I started out in the front...and about 5 minutes into it I couldn't even see the rest of the team and the tour guide literally grabbed onto my tube and dragged me the rest of the way - hey I got to see the scenery!! We got to the end and caught up to some of the team in the meantime because my tour guide was speedy...but not before he had asked for my number and invited himself to come back to Canada with me...in case you weren't keeping count...I'm irresistable.

Then we went for supper and this was the part in the trip where I met him...again. We have had this on again, off again thing for years...and you can imagine my surprise when I saw him in JAMAICA!? Anyway, I never saw him very often, maybe every couple of months or so and it usually didn't end well and yet, I keep coming back...my parents even like him, in fact my whole family does...although they haven't seen him in a while...I'm sure most of you even know him...his name...is Burger King. We got to see him twice while we were there..and it was always a nice treat!

Jamaica - Day 1

Jamaica was AMAZING!!!!!!!  Hands down the most amazing experience of my life. I have so many things to talk about...I'm going to post them in Day by Day posts...It's just easier that way, and  ALOT less reading at one time for those of you who have children and lives and stuff...you'll thank me lata!

Day 1
We got up at 430 in Moncton and grabbed a couple of taxi's and I was in with a group of teens where I was lovingly dubbed "Mama Jill". A name which is now a term of endearment to me.  (Since then even some of the teens' parents have been calling me Mama Jill!)

First impressions:

Flying in to Montego Bay is BREATHTAKINGLY beautiful...you feel like you are going to land in the ocean and then you touch and say a wee little Thank You Lord because you actually did land on the runway...it's so amazing though.

I don't know if you know this...but Jamaica is HOT! Stepping outside of the airport it was super sunny and we started glistening (girls don't sweat, they glisten) shortly after being outside waiting for our ride.  But it wasn't tooo hot that we couldn't stand it. We all climbed in the lovely Air Conditioned van that took off for a place called "the links" where we would wait for another ride to come get us.  When we got to the links we had some time to kill and it was very close to the airport and we watched a couple of planes coming in and it was so COOL to see from the ground too!

While we were waiting at this lovely beach there was a man literally selling seashells by the sea shore and he came up to our group asking if they wanted a shell for $5 and then he gets to me and he says while grabbing my hand " oooo I like your physique, where you from? for you - 4 dolla!" I look over at Jason (our head honcho, who gave me plenty of warning that I would be irresistable here, well those weren't his words, but I'm pretty sure that's what he meant...) and he's busting a gut saying "10 minutes Jill, we've been here 10 minutes!".

The ride to the college from Montego Bay was terrifying...Jamaica at rush hour is INSANE, and then we start heading into the mountains and their main roads were skinny and people drove so fast and all the turns are blind turns and I'm a nervous driver on a good day, so I was holding my breath for the most part, but it's amazing how you just get used to it after a few days...

We got to the college and it was alot nicer then I had anticipated! cockroaches and ants aside. We had bunk beds and about 3 girls per room and it was nice! we had a front room with a couple of gecko friends that lived on our walls.  One was drake and I can't remember the others name but he had two tails...

We had our first supper...Chicken and rice and beans! It was so yummy...we were so thankful for the food that was prepared for us each day in the Dining Hall...it was delicious and we always had fresh fruit and sometimes we even got ice cream for dessert! What a blessing those lovely ladies in the kitchen were to us....

We spent the rest of the evening getting settled in and at this point we were completely unaware of the amazing experiences each of us were going to have - individually, and as a 'family'.

Leavin' on a jet plane

So, tomorrow I leave for Jamaica! Hard to believe it's finally here!! I went and bought a few last minute things tonight - like a camera...and a bathing suit - nothing important for a vacation or anything...sheesh.

Anyway, I was at Old Navy and trying on some suits and then I realized oh man I gotta pee. When I get this urge, its not like everyone else where its like oh an inkling where your body says "hmm...la la la..I think I should use the bathroom soon".  It's like BAM! It's time. So I scurry to get my things together and didn't pay much attention (shocker...) to what I was doing. I get out of the change rooms and go pay for my things and say to ashley we need to go. She instantly knows what that means so we leave and I get home and look down and realize in my moments of rushing/panic I put my tank on inside out, AND backwards.

I can't make this stuff up.

I love my new camera...I can't wait to show off all my pics!!  It doesn't feel quite real yet..all my bags are packed, I'm ready to go....love that song...anyway.  I'm sure reality will smack me in the face pretty soon - In the form of HEAT and BRIGHT SUN...ahh smack away...

Anyway, I'll have a whole ton to talk/blog about when I come home - but until then - please remember to pray for us all and most importantly for safety while we are there!

The Body Polish...

This story might contain some cringe-worthy visuals...just sayin'...

You've been warned. 

At Christmas I was given a gift card to the Pure Spa and I'm finally using it and I decide to get a facial last week (which was spectacular) and a 'Body Polish' this week.  All I knew about this was that I would be covered in towels for privacy and my arms, legs and shoulders and scalp would be massaged - BRING IT ON! I love a good massage!! And then you would get a Vichy Shower, I had no clue what that was till I got there...

WELL. I get there and the lady takes me to the change room and provides me with a robe and says ' you can wear your undergarments but they will get drenched because of the shower, but don't worry if you don't want to get them wet, you don't need to wear anything (which is typical I guess) because you have towels covering you'.  So I think, well I only have one pair of undies with me so nothing it is. 

I get into the room in my robe and my first thought is "how do I get up on that thing" and then she starts describes what she will do and she says " here are the towels you will use for coverage and she unrolls them and they are two HAND TOWELS!!! one for top one for bottom! I start snickering and think to myself DO YOU SEE ME LADY?! Those ain't gonna hide much ...

She steps out and then I'm faced with the task of trying to get onto this table without a step stool (which I searched around for...)  The pic below is the table AND the shower (shower heads above).  It doesn't look like it's that high - but the sides were up to my waist...

So, I finally roll myself onto this thing and get my darn towels situated (which covered more then I thought yay!) and lay there and wait.  She comes back in with the body scrub stuff and it smells so good (blueberry).  she starts on the feet and then the legs and then unexpectedly she starts on my exposed belly and immediately I suck in (as if she wouldn't notice) OK here's a few things you should know a) my belly is NEVER exposed...on purpose b) I'm really tickle-ish so this was DREADFULLY uncomfortable for me.  Belly touching is forbidden - or as Ashley would say 'Don't rub the genie!!!' 

She moves on to arms and shoulders and its soooo nice!!!! then she says Ok, I'm going to help you to sit up so I can get your back. and I'm thinking WHAAAAAAAT?! and she's like 'just hold onto your towels and I'll help you up.' Let me pause right there and I'll tell you the issues with this... a) I have no core muscles AT ALL b) imagine me trying to get up with my legs straight out and no hands because they are trying to keep the oversized facecloths in place...and worst of all c) I'm all of a sudden very aware that she can see my bum crack. for the entire time she's putting this stuff on my back I'm thinking of c)

Then the last step is here and she turns on the shower heads and washes away all of the scrub, thankfully she doesn't sit me up again...she just says I'm going to leave the room and you will have 10-15 minutes in here with this raining down on you and I'll knock when the time is up.  It was SOOO Nice...like a whole other massage...

Just when I think it's all done, I realize I have to somehow get off this table onto a wet floor...I'm going to break my neck...so I slooooowwwly slide my way off this thing, and I survived.

It was actually amazing - I've never been so wonderfully exfoliated in my life...my skin is super smooth and I kinda can't wait to go again, only next time...undergarments!



To See or not to See

So last night my darn glasses broke.  I've had them since like 2007 and even when I bought them they were crappy "blue tagged" cheap-o frames.  So, until I can get some new ones, I'm stuck squinting my way through life.

There are a few pros and cons...

Pros:
~ When I see the bathroom mirror I look freakin' awesome!
~ Everyone else looks good too
~ I can see the cloudyness but I can't see the rain drops so I can't tell how gross it is out.
And my very favorite so far...When drinking out of my water glass my glasses usually clink on the rim - and that's not happening...it's very exciting ok!?

Cons:
~headaches
~I probably shouldn't be driving

I could probably think of more but I'm boring myself. So, new topic.

I did Yoga on Wednesday, and it was flow and so hard, but I liked it.  I found it especially difficult that class for some reason.  My shins were killing me and I couldn't get relief till the next day. Oh well, I gotta keep at it.  I do really like it.

That was the only class I made it to this week because I have been swamped with baking every evening until 11 or 12 getting all the orders done for a fundraiser I have been doing since February for Jamaica at my office.  I only have two blueberry pies left and then I'm DONE DONE DONE!

I'm really close to my Jamaica fundraising goal and it feels incredible.  I should have all I need by Tuesday May 1st.  I was so worried that I wouldn't raise enough, but this has really all come together perfectly and that only happened because I've let God take control and He has provided in my 'time of need'.

Thank you to everyone who donated money and items to this trip.  Looking forward to sharing pics and stories when I come back!!

Mary Kay Make Over

A few weeks ago, a highschool friend of mine asked if I wanted to go to a Mary Kay event where they would do a free makeup application and you can win prizes and stuff! whoohoo how fun!!! So, that's what I did tonight, and it was a blast! I had so much fun and realized that I gotta wear make up more often! So, I bought myself some product!  Sooo excited to get it! I also won a beautiful necklace (shown below) and matching earrings! Love free stuff..love love free stuff.

Today also marks the 3rd Anniversary of sweet Leah Satine Marie Harding (lovingly known as Lolly). She had cerebral palsy and was only 4 years old when she died suddenly from a seizure.  I spent alot of my day remembering loads of precious moments that I was lucky enough to have with her while she was here.  I was especially thinking of the last times I had with her and those were times when I would often pick her up at her daycare and drive her home to her mommy and brother while daddy was working.  She was so silly and laughed so easily and she would literally giggle all the way home.  Becky would meet me at the door and she would say "did she laugh the whole time again?!"  I have so much love in my heart for her. I miss her all the time. 

Tonight, I was heading to the Mary Kay event and didn't recognize the name of the place but I followed the directions I found online and as I pull up I'm thinking...no way...this can't be it - but it was.  It was the same building that Lolly's daycare center was in.  How bizarre is that?? I haven't been near that place in over 3 years and then all of a sudden I show up there for an Event...on the anniversary.  I definitely lost it and had myself a much needed moment in the car before heading in.  And it was kind of nice to be in there, in a strange way it felt really nice knowing I was someplace where Lolly had spent alot of her time before she passed.

Kinda therapeutic even.

Well, it's time to go to bed...Here is the finished product :-) 

Spin Class!

Yesterday's Yoga class was FLOW YOGA!!  That's where you 'flow' from one pose to another after one breath...like from standing breath to folding down over your legs breath, to plank breath, to on your belly breath, to cobra breath, to downward dog to standing...again and again for an hour adding new poses to your set after 3 times.  It was difficult, but it was SUCH a good workout and I freakin' loved it. I'm sure it was a beginner version of the Flow classes but it was still great! It might be my favorite...

Today, I tried my first Spin class. I went with two ladies from work and I was a little scared to do it, I knew it was going to hurt, especially since my arms & legs are already sore from Yoga this week haha - but no one said this journey was going to be an easy one!

There is always something with me...every day brings a little adventure.  Today was no exception.  I won't get into it to much, but I will say that I had gotten changed and decided to wait for my girlfriends outside the changing room and on my way out, I rounded a corner and nearly collided with another lady - that would have been embarrassing enough-if had she been clothed...WHY!?! WHY!?? awkward.

Anyway, We get up to the spin class and they are already warming up...I seek out the bike in the back corner and luckily my girl Jenny was there to save me and re-adjust the bike for me...THANK YOU! Even still, it was so HARD! I felt like I was sitting on a cement block for 45 minutes. Forget standing up, or adjusting the resistance - if there was a level that said "easy peasy" I was on it, and I STILL wanted to walk out half way through...so hard. But I will give it another shot...after my hiney recovers some.  I kept thinking of the people on Biggest Loser and said to myself, if they can do it, I can do it! and then I pretended that Bob was yelling at me to push through it and it helped...I always have had an active imagination.

I am going to take the weekend off from Yoga/Spinning to let my hardly-used muscles rest - they aren't used to this!!!  Until Monday...

Success!

Well, yesterday was the type of day that I dread.  Anything that could go wrong went wrong, at work, personally - everything. It was just a good ole stressful day. I wanted nothing more then to just say 'forget you, Yoga' but instead I thought, hmm maybe that will help me de-stress, provided I don't get sick...

So, I decided to go and I was prepared to pace myself and listen to my body and just do it.  AND I DID IT!!!  (or as Quinny would say.. "I diiiiiiiiiiiid!") I actually LOVED it!!! and I never got sick!!!!! That was so great.  It was just what I needed after a long day and sure I chilled in Childs Pose when I needed to get my breath back but I only had to do that once and I am just so excited that it was a positive experience!!!

And then it was over.  I was so hot and gross that I thought hmm I'm not parked that far away this time, so maybe I can get away with not changing back into my work clothes and just wear the stanky sweaty stuff outside and dash to the car...so I take off to the stairs and go to get my shoes and think crap! they are heels..this is quite the fashion statement...but I say who cares and make a mad dash out the door.  I get to my car in almost a jiffy and it's locked.  I had stuffed my work clothes in my purse (which I am now carrying around, yay me!) and so I have to put down my mat...yank the clothes out just to try to find the keys that of course, are way at the bottom of my Mary Poppins purse. As I'm searching for them in my sweaty shorts and tank and HEELS people are walking by on the sidewalk looking at the heels...I feel compelled to explain, but I decide it's not worth it. 

I get in the car and I check my phone messages and realize I forgot (shocker!!!!) that the travel clinic was at the church for 6pm (its 645) for a meeting and to give the needles to all of us that we need to get for Jamaica.  I peel away and call Jason to see if they are still there and he says Yes, and he mentions all the kids parents are there too...I think to myself, oh NO, I look like a drowned rat - and I'm in workout clothes with HEELS, and I won't have time to change because they are already waiting for me.

So, as I'm pulling up to a red light I get the brilliant idea to get changed...no one's around...just so we are clear...I quickly get my pants on and the light changes, phew one thing down, one to go - and at the next red light, I very casually fling my work shirt over the tank and after a little arm-getting-stuck struggle I manage to pull the tank out and VOILA!! magic.

My hair still was a wreck, and my face was red as a beet - but I pulled it off. Those parents probably think I'm a lunatic...but hopefully they will still trust the troll to take care of their children.  Best part about the all this was that because of all the distractions I didn't have time to stress about the fact that I was getting a NEEDLE! I hate needles with a passion...I avoid them at all costs.  And now, I'm about to get one in front of a bunch of teens and I need to be a good example and not freak out...So, in an effort to save myself some embarrassment, I went to the back of the line. but that made things worse because then I had time to freak myself out.  BUT I went in there and I was a big girl and it wasn't so bad...unfortunately I need to get another one a few days before I leave...bOOO.

Today, I was looking for some clothes to wear and in the bottom of my drawer I see pants that I got for Christmas, that I never wore because they were too tight to even get up my legs, but I kept them because I love them and hoped to someday fit in them...and today I thought I'd try them on and THEY FIT!!! they are little tight on the gut but they fit!! I can't even believe it!

Today is a grrrrrreat day! Bring on the lunchtime Yoga!!

Jamaica Gift Basket!

31 Days!!

In case you haven't heard...I am going on a Missions Trip to JAMAICA! mon. I leave the evening of May 17th and we fly out of Moncton May 18th! I can't wait. Every two years Grace Christian School takes their Grade 11 and 12 students to Jamaica and this year they have asked if I would like to come along as a chaperone! (stop laughing, I'll be a good one, I promise!)  I am a youth leader at Grace Baptist Church and already have a rapport with some of the students that are going.  I can't wait to get to know the rest...this is something I've wanted to do for YEARS and I never dreamed I would get the opportunity. 

We are going to be helping out in the community and going to an Orphanage, a deaf school, a home called West Haven for people with disabilities...its going to be an AMAZING experience.  We have been doing lots of fundraising to be able to go and just this past weekend the kids put on a play and it was such a success!!  Before the play began they showed pics/videos of the last trip 2 years ago and I found myself sitting there all teary and lumpy-throated thinking - I'm going to be there really soon, cuddling, playing, & spending quality time with those little ones..My heart just exploded. I can only imagine what it's going to be like.

God has really shown himself to me during the time of preparing for this trip.  I was asked back in November and I had a teeeny tiny freak out in about January where I was majorly concerned about how the funding is all going to come together...and another when I wasn't sure I would get my renewed passport in time...but all of these things are coming together and I've really had to rely on God to make this work out...and He's been doing just that!

I still have more fundraising to do, and I'm particularly excited about this last fundraiser - I have sent out letters to companies around Charlottetown and I have heard back from a few of them and they have donated a couple of items here and there to put into a Gift Basket that I'm working on.  I have had some of my favorite ladies (you know who you are!!) that are super crafty that have donated items for it as well! The items in there are already over $100 worth...I'm going to start selling tickets to raffle it off starting next week. The tickets are $2 for one and $5 for 3. Let me know if you are interested, or if you have something you'd like to donate!  The draw will be May 4th.  TELL YOUR FRIENDS!!

PS..I LOST 4 lbs!!! (in a week!!) more on that tomorrow!

Common Sense? What's that?

I really seem to lack common sense.  Those who know me well, know that I am a very forgetful person...and I tend to not plan things out well and this can make my life and simple tasks chaos and yet I just don't learn. It could be part laziness, or that I didn't find it THAT important, or just the shear fact that it never crossed my mind.  In the end, I know I've frustrated people (sorry family!) but I am even more frustrated with myself most of the time. 

Like forgetting my toothbrush on almost EVERY SINGLE TRIP I've ever taken...going to get a few things that I needed at the store and not coming home with any of it...taking it a step further and making myself a list before going to the store and forgetting the list.  I can't even tell you how many times I've lost my bank card.  I just think Oh it would be so much easier if I didn't carry around a big purse..right. Or when I was getting ready for a trip to New York in Jan and for weeks Ashley was saying "Do you have your passport??" and I kept getting frustrated and saying "YES I know exactly where it is!" and 2 days before I went to look for it and it wasn't where I remembered putting it - talk about panic city!!! I tore my entire apartment apart searching everywhere two or three times and then Sam comes over to help with the search party and picks up my summer purse (which I NEVER use, but because we went to Florida - almost a year before- I had used it) and there it was...I heard the Halleujah Chorus!

And then today.  Last night I got all my Yoga stuff ready and I made a mental note that my extra deodorant is in my car so I'll add that to my things tomorrow.  At the time I made my mental note I had completely forgotten that Ashley was taking my car for the day and would be leaving earlier then me and I'd be going with mom.  I get in the car and I was empty handed...Mom says to me "Do you have a change of clothes for Yoga?" and I say in my head FRIG!, but just as quickly I remember that I have an extra change of clothes at work from doing it yesterday (because I FORGOT to take them home with me...sigh).  So, I'm good again.  Then I get here and realize at 330 that Ashley probably won't make it here to pick me up before I go to Yoga, but that's ok coz I can walk there from here...and then I remember the deoderant...FRIG AGAIN! I have been pushing it just to re-use my yoga clothes from yesterday but today I'm doing HOT yoga where you sweat like a fat girl writing her first love letter within minutes of being in the room...so there was no way I was going to be the stinky girl. NOPE.

So, I got cranky thinking about that and how could I forget so much so easily...and so I decided tonight it just wasn't meant to be. And now, I'm going to Sam's for some delicious dinner and Yoga will have to happen tomorrow!

Cheers!

Day two of Yoga...and it was so much better!!! I didnt puke!!!! probably because it wasn't hot yoga it was the one at work. I loved it. I'm definitely hurtin tonight but the goood kind of hurtin! 

I have already mastered a pose!!!! Corpse!!! dont tell me that doesn't count...even though its just laying flat on your back...its my fave so far. I tried The Happy Baby today and it sounded so fun and cute..but no, it was aaaaaaawwkkkward! but you do get a mighty good stretch with that one. 

I was telling the instructor about my experience last night and we were laughing our heads off it was great, she gave me tips (many of the same you all have told me about)  and also said that she is teaching the 5:30 class tomorrow and promised she would take care of me haha. Yay!! my goal is no more puke... haha-still cant believe that happened...

So, today was so great and showed me that this is why I signed up for this...I cant wait to go tomorrow.  I'm a little intimidated about the heat again but I can do it! I not only have a major support system in my family but I'm hearing from people I don't even knowshowing their support...how amazing is that? 

Yoga - 1 & Jill - 0

Well, 1st hot yoga class complete....  In preparation of my first attempt at this, I did what anyone would do - I googled what to expect. I did get some great tips like - listen to your body, take breaks, drink lots of water not just during the class but throughout the day leading up to the class..so I did this. Drank a boatload of water and by 330 I was rushing to the bathroom every half hour to pee. Then I start panicking thinking I'm not going to be the girl who is obviously doing her first rodeo here and having to leave for pee breaks - nope not doing it.

Then I arrive - and my friend behind the counter was there to greet me and he was so nice and remembered my name (crap maybe he does remember me from highschool...) either way - he was very nice and showed me where to go, la la la. So. I make my way into the class eagerly looking about at the others in the group and I notice...they are all wearing tanks and shorts that barely cover, and I immediately judge them for trying to look good while working out - I'm in yoga pants and a tank, but I move past that and look around to see what they are doing. And I copy them...some go and grab the foamy blocks so I do...some take a sip of water..I do...then they all start lying down...so I do..at this point I'm already sweating...and I'm muttering under my breath that I should have worn shorts...and then I wonder if anyone would notice if I showed up next time in my undergarments...

The first 15 minutes were BRUTAL, but I tell myself they always are and by the half hour mark I will be over the hump...then the half hour mark comes and my arms and legs are on FIRE. the teacher comes along side of me and says "bring that back leg right up behind your hand" And I laugh at him and try to and in my head I think of other things I'd rather do to him with that foot...then 35 minutes comes and that's when I say the heck with it, I'm the girl that leaves for pee breaks - I embraced it. and when I got to the bathroom I was shaking and frustrated and sore so, I  bawled my eyes out.  That was easily the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. And then its over, I'm walking out feeling proud that I stuck it out even though the whole time I was saying I'm never doing this again.

Then I mutter again for being ambitious and parking far away...and then it hits me.  I feel my stomach begin to gurgle and a nice uncomfortable wave of nausea comes over me and I start walking faster thinking I just went to shoppers I know I have a bag in my car....I get in the car start to drive off breathing deep trying not to puke, then its the point of no return and I empty the shoppers bag on the front seat and I puked my guts up. then I think to myself my legs are so warm so I move the bag and realize there was a FREAKING pin hole in it and I basically just puked on myself. I then think of dear Wendy and her Pink Bubblegum blog post and I woof my cookies a bit more. Now I have this holey puke bag so I have to get rid of it and I'm not running out to garbage bin with a wet lap, so I quickly open my door and littered it. Stop judging me what would you have done?! Then I open my window to get some fresh air and I realize I hear a bag blowing in the wind and I pull up to a stop sign and open my door and there goes my freakin' puke bag that got stuck in my door...UGH!

So I left it and drove off like nothing happened...Whatever.

I will now take my googled advice and listen to my body and TAKE breaks when I need them, even if that means going out of the room to get a moment.

Until Tomorrow....Goodnight!

Anyone have an Ativan?

So, the 8 week session of Yoga (which upon looking closer is actually 10 weeks...yay? ) is a Corporate thing that Ceridian is doing here at the office one day a week.  I decided I want to actually make a commitment to working out at least 4-5 times a week (that might not seem like a big deal, but to me - it is!!) so I thought, I'm going to get a membership for one month unlimited classes - with that I can go to any of the classes they offer...like hot yoga (duh), flow yoga (yeah right), and even spin classes!! - which I got particularly excited about.  Thats my favorite piece of equipment at the gym...

I trot off to pay for this 30 day membership and get there and BAM the guy at the counter is a guy I went to highschool with...all fit and muscular and HE is going to be one of the trainers with spin class...Immediately, I say to myself - oh.crap.are.you.KIDDING.me! (side-note -I was wearing single digit size pants in highschool, so you can imagine my horror and embarrassment). In reality, I doubt he even knew who I was, or noticed (I should say 'cared') that I've gained I dunno, like 70 lbs since then.

All of a sudden I get all insecure and anxious and start being completely irrational and thinking 'I don't belong here! I'm going to be surrounded by people who are good at this and fit and maintaining a healthy lifestyle...they are all going to judge me because my addiction to food is visable so they are going to think I just don't care about myself - that I'm not serious about this...I wish my addiction was smoking - then they'd never know - yeah that'd teach them!' All these foolish things fluttered about in my mind for the 30 seconds it took to make the yay or nay decision to sign up. Thankfully I started thinking clearly again and I thought, hey maybe 'these people' will be able to get me where I want to be and encourage me along the way to reach my goals, maybe they aren't these scary judgemental people - maybe they do this so they can help people like me to get healthy...I have to stop caring about everyone else and what I think they may think and just do this. Do it for ME!

So, I went against every grain in my insecure-fat-girl body and continued to sign up for this 30 day thing.

I start tonight...at 5:30.  First Hot Yoga class in a studio...on a matted floor...how exciting!  I'll let you know how it goes.

Wish me luck!

Motivation

So. Today marks the the day that I decide I want to make some big changes in my life.  I am starting Yoga in 1 day...for 8 weeks...I'm signed up and I paid for it - so I can't back out. I don't want to back out...but I'm nervous! I did one class and I LOVED it...totally loved it. But its going to get harder and I realllllly don't want to hate it.

I have ZERO balance. I have a big gut that gets in the way when I bend down...I can only imagine what I will look like when I start getting into poses. I know, I know I shouldn't care...blah blah. I totally care. 

But I have realized now is the time to make these changes. So, I am going to blog about my ups and downs...and Im sure other things in my life will be a big part of this blog too.  I totally stole this "blog about your journey" idea from my cousin Wendy (hollla!!!)...ps check out her blog http://pigeonposeemotions.blogspot.com/ - she is fabulous.

Anyway, I figure if I can just use this as an outlet to express myself and be real about my (hopeful) weight loss journey, I will be able to look back on here and see how far I've come and it will be motivation for me to keep going.