So last night my darn glasses broke. I've had them since like 2007 and even when I bought them they were crappy "blue tagged" cheap-o frames. So, until I can get some new ones, I'm stuck squinting my way through life.
There are a few pros and cons...
Pros:
~ When I see the bathroom mirror I look freakin' awesome!
~ Everyone else looks good too
~ I can see the cloudyness but I can't see the rain drops so I can't tell how gross it is out.
And my very favorite so far...When drinking out of my water glass my glasses usually clink on the rim - and that's not happening...it's very exciting ok!?
Cons:
~headaches
~I probably shouldn't be driving
I could probably think of more but I'm boring myself. So, new topic.
I did Yoga on Wednesday, and it was flow and so hard, but I liked it. I found it especially difficult that class for some reason. My shins were killing me and I couldn't get relief till the next day. Oh well, I gotta keep at it. I do really like it.
That was the only class I made it to this week because I have been swamped with baking every evening until 11 or 12 getting all the orders done for a fundraiser I have been doing since February for Jamaica at my office. I only have two blueberry pies left and then I'm DONE DONE DONE!
I'm really close to my Jamaica fundraising goal and it feels incredible. I should have all I need by Tuesday May 1st. I was so worried that I wouldn't raise enough, but this has really all come together perfectly and that only happened because I've let God take control and He has provided in my 'time of need'.
Thank you to everyone who donated money and items to this trip. Looking forward to sharing pics and stories when I come back!!
Friday, April 27, 2012
Monday, April 23, 2012
Mary Kay Make Over
A few weeks ago, a highschool friend of mine asked if I wanted to go to a Mary Kay event where they would do a free makeup application and you can win prizes and stuff! whoohoo how fun!!! So, that's what I did tonight, and it was a blast! I had so much fun and realized that I gotta wear make up more often! So, I bought myself some product! Sooo excited to get it! I also won a beautiful necklace (shown below) and matching earrings! Love free stuff..love love free stuff.
Today also marks the 3rd Anniversary of sweet Leah Satine Marie Harding (lovingly known as Lolly). She had cerebral palsy and was only 4 years old when she died suddenly from a seizure. I spent alot of my day remembering loads of precious moments that I was lucky enough to have with her while she was here. I was especially thinking of the last times I had with her and those were times when I would often pick her up at her daycare and drive her home to her mommy and brother while daddy was working. She was so silly and laughed so easily and she would literally giggle all the way home. Becky would meet me at the door and she would say "did she laugh the whole time again?!" I have so much love in my heart for her. I miss her all the time.
Tonight, I was heading to the Mary Kay event and didn't recognize the name of the place but I followed the directions I found online and as I pull up I'm thinking...no way...this can't be it - but it was. It was the same building that Lolly's daycare center was in. How bizarre is that?? I haven't been near that place in over 3 years and then all of a sudden I show up there for an Event...on the anniversary. I definitely lost it and had myself a much needed moment in the car before heading in. And it was kind of nice to be in there, in a strange way it felt really nice knowing I was someplace where Lolly had spent alot of her time before she passed.
Kinda therapeutic even.
Well, it's time to go to bed...Here is the finished product :-)
Thursday, April 19, 2012
Spin Class!
Yesterday's Yoga class was FLOW YOGA!! That's where you 'flow' from one pose to another after one breath...like from standing breath to folding down over your legs breath, to plank breath, to on your belly breath, to cobra breath, to downward dog to standing...again and again for an hour adding new poses to your set after 3 times. It was difficult, but it was SUCH a good workout and I freakin' loved it. I'm sure it was a beginner version of the Flow classes but it was still great! It might be my favorite...
Today, I tried my first Spin class. I went with two ladies from work and I was a little scared to do it, I knew it was going to hurt, especially since my arms & legs are already sore from Yoga this week haha - but no one said this journey was going to be an easy one!
There is always something with me...every day brings a little adventure. Today was no exception. I won't get into it to much, but I will say that I had gotten changed and decided to wait for my girlfriends outside the changing room and on my way out, I rounded a corner and nearly collided with another lady - that would have been embarrassing enough-if had she been clothed...WHY!?! WHY!?? awkward.
Anyway, We get up to the spin class and they are already warming up...I seek out the bike in the back corner and luckily my girl Jenny was there to save me and re-adjust the bike for me...THANK YOU! Even still, it was so HARD! I felt like I was sitting on a cement block for 45 minutes. Forget standing up, or adjusting the resistance - if there was a level that said "easy peasy" I was on it, and I STILL wanted to walk out half way through...so hard. But I will give it another shot...after my hiney recovers some. I kept thinking of the people on Biggest Loser and said to myself, if they can do it, I can do it! and then I pretended that Bob was yelling at me to push through it and it helped...I always have had an active imagination.
I am going to take the weekend off from Yoga/Spinning to let my hardly-used muscles rest - they aren't used to this!!! Until Monday...
Today, I tried my first Spin class. I went with two ladies from work and I was a little scared to do it, I knew it was going to hurt, especially since my arms & legs are already sore from Yoga this week haha - but no one said this journey was going to be an easy one!
There is always something with me...every day brings a little adventure. Today was no exception. I won't get into it to much, but I will say that I had gotten changed and decided to wait for my girlfriends outside the changing room and on my way out, I rounded a corner and nearly collided with another lady - that would have been embarrassing enough-if had she been clothed...WHY!?! WHY!?? awkward.
Anyway, We get up to the spin class and they are already warming up...I seek out the bike in the back corner and luckily my girl Jenny was there to save me and re-adjust the bike for me...THANK YOU! Even still, it was so HARD! I felt like I was sitting on a cement block for 45 minutes. Forget standing up, or adjusting the resistance - if there was a level that said "easy peasy" I was on it, and I STILL wanted to walk out half way through...so hard. But I will give it another shot...after my hiney recovers some. I kept thinking of the people on Biggest Loser and said to myself, if they can do it, I can do it! and then I pretended that Bob was yelling at me to push through it and it helped...I always have had an active imagination.
I am going to take the weekend off from Yoga/Spinning to let my hardly-used muscles rest - they aren't used to this!!! Until Monday...
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
Success!
Well, yesterday was the type of day that I dread. Anything that could go wrong went wrong, at work, personally - everything. It was just a good ole stressful day. I wanted nothing more then to just say 'forget you, Yoga' but instead I thought, hmm maybe that will help me de-stress, provided I don't get sick...
So, I decided to go and I was prepared to pace myself and listen to my body and just do it. AND I DID IT!!! (or as Quinny would say.. "I diiiiiiiiiiiid!") I actually LOVED it!!! and I never got sick!!!!! That was so great. It was just what I needed after a long day and sure I chilled in Childs Pose when I needed to get my breath back but I only had to do that once and I am just so excited that it was a positive experience!!!
And then it was over. I was so hot and gross that I thought hmm I'm not parked that far away this time, so maybe I can get away with not changing back into my work clothes and just wear the stanky sweaty stuff outside and dash to the car...so I take off to the stairs and go to get my shoes and think crap! they are heels..this is quite the fashion statement...but I say who cares and make a mad dash out the door. I get to my car in almost a jiffy and it's locked. I had stuffed my work clothes in my purse (which I am now carrying around, yay me!) and so I have to put down my mat...yank the clothes out just to try to find the keys that of course, are way at the bottom of my Mary Poppins purse. As I'm searching for them in my sweaty shorts and tank and HEELS people are walking by on the sidewalk looking at the heels...I feel compelled to explain, but I decide it's not worth it.
I get in the car and I check my phone messages and realize I forgot (shocker!!!!) that the travel clinic was at the church for 6pm (its 645) for a meeting and to give the needles to all of us that we need to get for Jamaica. I peel away and call Jason to see if they are still there and he says Yes, and he mentions all the kids parents are there too...I think to myself, oh NO, I look like a drowned rat - and I'm in workout clothes with HEELS, and I won't have time to change because they are already waiting for me.
So, as I'm pulling up to a red light I get the brilliant idea to get changed...no one's around...just so we are clear...I quickly get my pants on and the light changes, phew one thing down, one to go - and at the next red light, I very casually fling my work shirt over the tank and after a little arm-getting-stuck struggle I manage to pull the tank out and VOILA!! magic.
My hair still was a wreck, and my face was red as a beet - but I pulled it off. Those parents probably think I'm a lunatic...but hopefully they will still trust the troll to take care of their children. Best part about the all this was that because of all the distractions I didn't have time to stress about the fact that I was getting a NEEDLE! I hate needles with a passion...I avoid them at all costs. And now, I'm about to get one in front of a bunch of teens and I need to be a good example and not freak out...So, in an effort to save myself some embarrassment, I went to the back of the line. but that made things worse because then I had time to freak myself out. BUT I went in there and I was a big girl and it wasn't so bad...unfortunately I need to get another one a few days before I leave...bOOO.
Today, I was looking for some clothes to wear and in the bottom of my drawer I see pants that I got for Christmas, that I never wore because they were too tight to even get up my legs, but I kept them because I love them and hoped to someday fit in them...and today I thought I'd try them on and THEY FIT!!! they are little tight on the gut but they fit!! I can't even believe it!
Today is a grrrrrreat day! Bring on the lunchtime Yoga!!
So, I decided to go and I was prepared to pace myself and listen to my body and just do it. AND I DID IT!!! (or as Quinny would say.. "I diiiiiiiiiiiid!") I actually LOVED it!!! and I never got sick!!!!! That was so great. It was just what I needed after a long day and sure I chilled in Childs Pose when I needed to get my breath back but I only had to do that once and I am just so excited that it was a positive experience!!!
And then it was over. I was so hot and gross that I thought hmm I'm not parked that far away this time, so maybe I can get away with not changing back into my work clothes and just wear the stanky sweaty stuff outside and dash to the car...so I take off to the stairs and go to get my shoes and think crap! they are heels..this is quite the fashion statement...but I say who cares and make a mad dash out the door. I get to my car in almost a jiffy and it's locked. I had stuffed my work clothes in my purse (which I am now carrying around, yay me!) and so I have to put down my mat...yank the clothes out just to try to find the keys that of course, are way at the bottom of my Mary Poppins purse. As I'm searching for them in my sweaty shorts and tank and HEELS people are walking by on the sidewalk looking at the heels...I feel compelled to explain, but I decide it's not worth it.
I get in the car and I check my phone messages and realize I forgot (shocker!!!!) that the travel clinic was at the church for 6pm (its 645) for a meeting and to give the needles to all of us that we need to get for Jamaica. I peel away and call Jason to see if they are still there and he says Yes, and he mentions all the kids parents are there too...I think to myself, oh NO, I look like a drowned rat - and I'm in workout clothes with HEELS, and I won't have time to change because they are already waiting for me.
So, as I'm pulling up to a red light I get the brilliant idea to get changed...no one's around...just so we are clear...I quickly get my pants on and the light changes, phew one thing down, one to go - and at the next red light, I very casually fling my work shirt over the tank and after a little arm-getting-stuck struggle I manage to pull the tank out and VOILA!! magic.
My hair still was a wreck, and my face was red as a beet - but I pulled it off. Those parents probably think I'm a lunatic...but hopefully they will still trust the troll to take care of their children. Best part about the all this was that because of all the distractions I didn't have time to stress about the fact that I was getting a NEEDLE! I hate needles with a passion...I avoid them at all costs. And now, I'm about to get one in front of a bunch of teens and I need to be a good example and not freak out...So, in an effort to save myself some embarrassment, I went to the back of the line. but that made things worse because then I had time to freak myself out. BUT I went in there and I was a big girl and it wasn't so bad...unfortunately I need to get another one a few days before I leave...bOOO.
Today, I was looking for some clothes to wear and in the bottom of my drawer I see pants that I got for Christmas, that I never wore because they were too tight to even get up my legs, but I kept them because I love them and hoped to someday fit in them...and today I thought I'd try them on and THEY FIT!!! they are little tight on the gut but they fit!! I can't even believe it!
Today is a grrrrrreat day! Bring on the lunchtime Yoga!!
Monday, April 16, 2012
Jamaica Gift Basket!
31 Days!!
In case you haven't heard...I am going on a Missions Trip to JAMAICA! mon. I leave the evening of May 17th and we fly out of Moncton May 18th! I can't wait. Every two years Grace Christian School takes their Grade 11 and 12 students to Jamaica and this year they have asked if I would like to come along as a chaperone! (stop laughing, I'll be a good one, I promise!) I am a youth leader at Grace Baptist Church and already have a rapport with some of the students that are going. I can't wait to get to know the rest...this is something I've wanted to do for YEARS and I never dreamed I would get the opportunity.
We are going to be helping out in the community and going to an Orphanage, a deaf school, a home called West Haven for people with disabilities...its going to be an AMAZING experience. We have been doing lots of fundraising to be able to go and just this past weekend the kids put on a play and it was such a success!! Before the play began they showed pics/videos of the last trip 2 years ago and I found myself sitting there all teary and lumpy-throated thinking - I'm going to be there really soon, cuddling, playing, & spending quality time with those little ones..My heart just exploded. I can only imagine what it's going to be like.
God has really shown himself to me during the time of preparing for this trip. I was asked back in November and I had a teeeny tiny freak out in about January where I was majorly concerned about how the funding is all going to come together...and another when I wasn't sure I would get my renewed passport in time...but all of these things are coming together and I've really had to rely on God to make this work out...and He's been doing just that!
I still have more fundraising to do, and I'm particularly excited about this last fundraiser - I have sent out letters to companies around Charlottetown and I have heard back from a few of them and they have donated a couple of items here and there to put into a Gift Basket that I'm working on. I have had some of my favorite ladies (you know who you are!!) that are super crafty that have donated items for it as well! The items in there are already over $100 worth...I'm going to start selling tickets to raffle it off starting next week. The tickets are $2 for one and $5 for 3. Let me know if you are interested, or if you have something you'd like to donate! The draw will be May 4th. TELL YOUR FRIENDS!!
PS..I LOST 4 lbs!!! (in a week!!) more on that tomorrow!
In case you haven't heard...I am going on a Missions Trip to JAMAICA! mon. I leave the evening of May 17th and we fly out of Moncton May 18th! I can't wait. Every two years Grace Christian School takes their Grade 11 and 12 students to Jamaica and this year they have asked if I would like to come along as a chaperone! (stop laughing, I'll be a good one, I promise!) I am a youth leader at Grace Baptist Church and already have a rapport with some of the students that are going. I can't wait to get to know the rest...this is something I've wanted to do for YEARS and I never dreamed I would get the opportunity.
We are going to be helping out in the community and going to an Orphanage, a deaf school, a home called West Haven for people with disabilities...its going to be an AMAZING experience. We have been doing lots of fundraising to be able to go and just this past weekend the kids put on a play and it was such a success!! Before the play began they showed pics/videos of the last trip 2 years ago and I found myself sitting there all teary and lumpy-throated thinking - I'm going to be there really soon, cuddling, playing, & spending quality time with those little ones..My heart just exploded. I can only imagine what it's going to be like.
God has really shown himself to me during the time of preparing for this trip. I was asked back in November and I had a teeeny tiny freak out in about January where I was majorly concerned about how the funding is all going to come together...and another when I wasn't sure I would get my renewed passport in time...but all of these things are coming together and I've really had to rely on God to make this work out...and He's been doing just that!
I still have more fundraising to do, and I'm particularly excited about this last fundraiser - I have sent out letters to companies around Charlottetown and I have heard back from a few of them and they have donated a couple of items here and there to put into a Gift Basket that I'm working on. I have had some of my favorite ladies (you know who you are!!) that are super crafty that have donated items for it as well! The items in there are already over $100 worth...I'm going to start selling tickets to raffle it off starting next week. The tickets are $2 for one and $5 for 3. Let me know if you are interested, or if you have something you'd like to donate! The draw will be May 4th. TELL YOUR FRIENDS!!
PS..I LOST 4 lbs!!! (in a week!!) more on that tomorrow!
Thursday, April 12, 2012
Common Sense? What's that?
I really seem to lack common sense. Those who know me well, know that I am a very forgetful person...and I tend to not plan things out well and this can make my life and simple tasks chaos and yet I just don't learn. It could be part laziness, or that I didn't find it THAT important, or just the shear fact that it never crossed my mind. In the end, I know I've frustrated people (sorry family!) but I am even more frustrated with myself most of the time.
Like forgetting my toothbrush on almost EVERY SINGLE TRIP I've ever taken...going to get a few things that I needed at the store and not coming home with any of it...taking it a step further and making myself a list before going to the store and forgetting the list. I can't even tell you how many times I've lost my bank card. I just think Oh it would be so much easier if I didn't carry around a big purse..right. Or when I was getting ready for a trip to New York in Jan and for weeks Ashley was saying "Do you have your passport??" and I kept getting frustrated and saying "YES I know exactly where it is!" and 2 days before I went to look for it and it wasn't where I remembered putting it - talk about panic city!!! I tore my entire apartment apart searching everywhere two or three times and then Sam comes over to help with the search party and picks up my summer purse (which I NEVER use, but because we went to Florida - almost a year before- I had used it) and there it was...I heard the Halleujah Chorus!
And then today. Last night I got all my Yoga stuff ready and I made a mental note that my extra deodorant is in my car so I'll add that to my things tomorrow. At the time I made my mental note I had completely forgotten that Ashley was taking my car for the day and would be leaving earlier then me and I'd be going with mom. I get in the car and I was empty handed...Mom says to me "Do you have a change of clothes for Yoga?" and I say in my head FRIG!, but just as quickly I remember that I have an extra change of clothes at work from doing it yesterday (because I FORGOT to take them home with me...sigh). So, I'm good again. Then I get here and realize at 330 that Ashley probably won't make it here to pick me up before I go to Yoga, but that's ok coz I can walk there from here...and then I remember the deoderant...FRIG AGAIN! I have been pushing it just to re-use my yoga clothes from yesterday but today I'm doing HOT yoga where you sweat like a fat girl writing her first love letter within minutes of being in the room...so there was no way I was going to be the stinky girl. NOPE.
So, I got cranky thinking about that and how could I forget so much so easily...and so I decided tonight it just wasn't meant to be. And now, I'm going to Sam's for some delicious dinner and Yoga will have to happen tomorrow!
Cheers!
Like forgetting my toothbrush on almost EVERY SINGLE TRIP I've ever taken...going to get a few things that I needed at the store and not coming home with any of it...taking it a step further and making myself a list before going to the store and forgetting the list. I can't even tell you how many times I've lost my bank card. I just think Oh it would be so much easier if I didn't carry around a big purse..right. Or when I was getting ready for a trip to New York in Jan and for weeks Ashley was saying "Do you have your passport??" and I kept getting frustrated and saying "YES I know exactly where it is!" and 2 days before I went to look for it and it wasn't where I remembered putting it - talk about panic city!!! I tore my entire apartment apart searching everywhere two or three times and then Sam comes over to help with the search party and picks up my summer purse (which I NEVER use, but because we went to Florida - almost a year before- I had used it) and there it was...I heard the Halleujah Chorus!
And then today. Last night I got all my Yoga stuff ready and I made a mental note that my extra deodorant is in my car so I'll add that to my things tomorrow. At the time I made my mental note I had completely forgotten that Ashley was taking my car for the day and would be leaving earlier then me and I'd be going with mom. I get in the car and I was empty handed...Mom says to me "Do you have a change of clothes for Yoga?" and I say in my head FRIG!, but just as quickly I remember that I have an extra change of clothes at work from doing it yesterday (because I FORGOT to take them home with me...sigh). So, I'm good again. Then I get here and realize at 330 that Ashley probably won't make it here to pick me up before I go to Yoga, but that's ok coz I can walk there from here...and then I remember the deoderant...FRIG AGAIN! I have been pushing it just to re-use my yoga clothes from yesterday but today I'm doing HOT yoga where you sweat like a fat girl writing her first love letter within minutes of being in the room...so there was no way I was going to be the stinky girl. NOPE.
So, I got cranky thinking about that and how could I forget so much so easily...and so I decided tonight it just wasn't meant to be. And now, I'm going to Sam's for some delicious dinner and Yoga will have to happen tomorrow!
Cheers!
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
Day two of Yoga...and it was so much better!!! I didnt puke!!!! probably because it wasn't hot yoga it was the one at work. I loved it. I'm definitely hurtin tonight but the goood kind of hurtin!
I have already mastered a pose!!!! Corpse!!! dont tell me that doesn't count...even though its just laying flat on your back...its my fave so far. I tried The Happy Baby today and it sounded so fun and cute..but no, it was aaaaaaawwkkkward! but you do get a mighty good stretch with that one.
I was telling the instructor about my experience last night and we were laughing our heads off it was great, she gave me tips (many of the same you all have told me about) and also said that she is teaching the 5:30 class tomorrow and promised she would take care of me haha. Yay!! my goal is no more puke... haha-still cant believe that happened...
So, today was so great and showed me that this is why I signed up for this...I cant wait to go tomorrow. I'm a little intimidated about the heat again but I can do it! I not only have a major support system in my family but I'm hearing from people I don't even knowshowing their support...how amazing is that?
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Yoga - 1 & Jill - 0
Well, 1st hot yoga class complete.... In preparation of my first attempt at this, I did what anyone would do - I googled what to expect. I did get some great tips like - listen to your body, take breaks, drink lots of water not just during the class but throughout the day leading up to the class..so I did this. Drank a boatload of water and by 330 I was rushing to the bathroom every half hour to pee. Then I start panicking thinking I'm not going to be the girl who is obviously doing her first rodeo here and having to leave for pee breaks - nope not doing it.
Then I arrive - and my friend behind the counter was there to greet me and he was so nice and remembered my name (crap maybe he does remember me from highschool...) either way - he was very nice and showed me where to go, la la la. So. I make my way into the class eagerly looking about at the others in the group and I notice...they are all wearing tanks and shorts that barely cover, and I immediately judge them for trying to look good while working out - I'm in yoga pants and a tank, but I move past that and look around to see what they are doing. And I copy them...some go and grab the foamy blocks so I do...some take a sip of water..I do...then they all start lying down...so I do..at this point I'm already sweating...and I'm muttering under my breath that I should have worn shorts...and then I wonder if anyone would notice if I showed up next time in my undergarments...
The first 15 minutes were BRUTAL, but I tell myself they always are and by the half hour mark I will be over the hump...then the half hour mark comes and my arms and legs are on FIRE. the teacher comes along side of me and says "bring that back leg right up behind your hand" And I laugh at him and try to and in my head I think of other things I'd rather do to him with that foot...then 35 minutes comes and that's when I say the heck with it, I'm the girl that leaves for pee breaks - I embraced it. and when I got to the bathroom I was shaking and frustrated and sore so, I bawled my eyes out. That was easily the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. And then its over, I'm walking out feeling proud that I stuck it out even though the whole time I was saying I'm never doing this again.
Then I mutter again for being ambitious and parking far away...and then it hits me. I feel my stomach begin to gurgle and a nice uncomfortable wave of nausea comes over me and I start walking faster thinking I just went to shoppers I know I have a bag in my car....I get in the car start to drive off breathing deep trying not to puke, then its the point of no return and I empty the shoppers bag on the front seat and I puked my guts up. then I think to myself my legs are so warm so I move the bag and realize there was a FREAKING pin hole in it and I basically just puked on myself. I then think of dear Wendy and her Pink Bubblegum blog post and I woof my cookies a bit more. Now I have this holey puke bag so I have to get rid of it and I'm not running out to garbage bin with a wet lap, so I quickly open my door and littered it. Stop judging me what would you have done?! Then I open my window to get some fresh air and I realize I hear a bag blowing in the wind and I pull up to a stop sign and open my door and there goes my freakin' puke bag that got stuck in my door...UGH!
So I left it and drove off like nothing happened...Whatever.
I will now take my googled advice and listen to my body and TAKE breaks when I need them, even if that means going out of the room to get a moment.
Until Tomorrow....Goodnight!
Then I arrive - and my friend behind the counter was there to greet me and he was so nice and remembered my name (crap maybe he does remember me from highschool...) either way - he was very nice and showed me where to go, la la la. So. I make my way into the class eagerly looking about at the others in the group and I notice...they are all wearing tanks and shorts that barely cover, and I immediately judge them for trying to look good while working out - I'm in yoga pants and a tank, but I move past that and look around to see what they are doing. And I copy them...some go and grab the foamy blocks so I do...some take a sip of water..I do...then they all start lying down...so I do..at this point I'm already sweating...and I'm muttering under my breath that I should have worn shorts...and then I wonder if anyone would notice if I showed up next time in my undergarments...
The first 15 minutes were BRUTAL, but I tell myself they always are and by the half hour mark I will be over the hump...then the half hour mark comes and my arms and legs are on FIRE. the teacher comes along side of me and says "bring that back leg right up behind your hand" And I laugh at him and try to and in my head I think of other things I'd rather do to him with that foot...then 35 minutes comes and that's when I say the heck with it, I'm the girl that leaves for pee breaks - I embraced it. and when I got to the bathroom I was shaking and frustrated and sore so, I bawled my eyes out. That was easily the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. And then its over, I'm walking out feeling proud that I stuck it out even though the whole time I was saying I'm never doing this again.
Then I mutter again for being ambitious and parking far away...and then it hits me. I feel my stomach begin to gurgle and a nice uncomfortable wave of nausea comes over me and I start walking faster thinking I just went to shoppers I know I have a bag in my car....I get in the car start to drive off breathing deep trying not to puke, then its the point of no return and I empty the shoppers bag on the front seat and I puked my guts up. then I think to myself my legs are so warm so I move the bag and realize there was a FREAKING pin hole in it and I basically just puked on myself. I then think of dear Wendy and her Pink Bubblegum blog post and I woof my cookies a bit more. Now I have this holey puke bag so I have to get rid of it and I'm not running out to garbage bin with a wet lap, so I quickly open my door and littered it. Stop judging me what would you have done?! Then I open my window to get some fresh air and I realize I hear a bag blowing in the wind and I pull up to a stop sign and open my door and there goes my freakin' puke bag that got stuck in my door...UGH!
So I left it and drove off like nothing happened...Whatever.
I will now take my googled advice and listen to my body and TAKE breaks when I need them, even if that means going out of the room to get a moment.
Until Tomorrow....Goodnight!
Anyone have an Ativan?
So, the 8 week session of Yoga (which upon looking closer is actually 10 weeks...yay? ) is a Corporate thing that Ceridian is doing here at the office one day a week. I decided I want to actually make a commitment to working out at least 4-5 times a week (that might not seem like a big deal, but to me - it is!!) so I thought, I'm going to get a membership for one month unlimited classes - with that I can go to any of the classes they offer...like hot yoga (duh), flow yoga (yeah right), and even spin classes!! - which I got particularly excited about. Thats my favorite piece of equipment at the gym...
I trot off to pay for this 30 day membership and get there and BAM the guy at the counter is a guy I went to highschool with...all fit and muscular and HE is going to be one of the trainers with spin class...Immediately, I say to myself - oh.crap.are.you.KIDDING.me! (side-note -I was wearing single digit size pants in highschool, so you can imagine my horror and embarrassment). In reality, I doubt he even knew who I was, or noticed (I should say 'cared') that I've gained I dunno, like 70 lbs since then.
All of a sudden I get all insecure and anxious and start being completely irrational and thinking 'I don't belong here! I'm going to be surrounded by people who are good at this and fit and maintaining a healthy lifestyle...they are all going to judge me because my addiction to food is visable so they are going to think I just don't care about myself - that I'm not serious about this...I wish my addiction was smoking - then they'd never know - yeah that'd teach them!' All these foolish things fluttered about in my mind for the 30 seconds it took to make the yay or nay decision to sign up. Thankfully I started thinking clearly again and I thought, hey maybe 'these people' will be able to get me where I want to be and encourage me along the way to reach my goals, maybe they aren't these scary judgemental people - maybe they do this so they can help people like me to get healthy...I have to stop caring about everyone else and what I think they may think and just do this. Do it for ME!
So, I went against every grain in my insecure-fat-girl body and continued to sign up for this 30 day thing.
I start tonight...at 5:30. First Hot Yoga class in a studio...on a matted floor...how exciting! I'll let you know how it goes.
Wish me luck!
I trot off to pay for this 30 day membership and get there and BAM the guy at the counter is a guy I went to highschool with...all fit and muscular and HE is going to be one of the trainers with spin class...Immediately, I say to myself - oh.crap.are.you.KIDDING.me! (side-note -I was wearing single digit size pants in highschool, so you can imagine my horror and embarrassment). In reality, I doubt he even knew who I was, or noticed (I should say 'cared') that I've gained I dunno, like 70 lbs since then.
All of a sudden I get all insecure and anxious and start being completely irrational and thinking 'I don't belong here! I'm going to be surrounded by people who are good at this and fit and maintaining a healthy lifestyle...they are all going to judge me because my addiction to food is visable so they are going to think I just don't care about myself - that I'm not serious about this...I wish my addiction was smoking - then they'd never know - yeah that'd teach them!' All these foolish things fluttered about in my mind for the 30 seconds it took to make the yay or nay decision to sign up. Thankfully I started thinking clearly again and I thought, hey maybe 'these people' will be able to get me where I want to be and encourage me along the way to reach my goals, maybe they aren't these scary judgemental people - maybe they do this so they can help people like me to get healthy...I have to stop caring about everyone else and what I think they may think and just do this. Do it for ME!
So, I went against every grain in my insecure-fat-girl body and continued to sign up for this 30 day thing.
I start tonight...at 5:30. First Hot Yoga class in a studio...on a matted floor...how exciting! I'll let you know how it goes.
Wish me luck!
Monday, April 9, 2012
Motivation
So. Today marks the the day that I decide I want to make some big changes in my life. I am starting Yoga in 1 day...for 8 weeks...I'm signed up and I paid for it - so I can't back out. I don't want to back out...but I'm nervous! I did one class and I LOVED it...totally loved it. But its going to get harder and I realllllly don't want to hate it.
I have ZERO balance. I have a big gut that gets in the way when I bend down...I can only imagine what I will look like when I start getting into poses. I know, I know I shouldn't care...blah blah. I totally care.
But I have realized now is the time to make these changes. So, I am going to blog about my ups and downs...and Im sure other things in my life will be a big part of this blog too. I totally stole this "blog about your journey" idea from my cousin Wendy (hollla!!!)...ps check out her blog http://pigeonposeemotions.blogspot.com/ - she is fabulous.
Anyway, I figure if I can just use this as an outlet to express myself and be real about my (hopeful) weight loss journey, I will be able to look back on here and see how far I've come and it will be motivation for me to keep going.
I have ZERO balance. I have a big gut that gets in the way when I bend down...I can only imagine what I will look like when I start getting into poses. I know, I know I shouldn't care...blah blah. I totally care.
But I have realized now is the time to make these changes. So, I am going to blog about my ups and downs...and Im sure other things in my life will be a big part of this blog too. I totally stole this "blog about your journey" idea from my cousin Wendy (hollla!!!)...ps check out her blog http://pigeonposeemotions.blogspot.com/ - she is fabulous.
Anyway, I figure if I can just use this as an outlet to express myself and be real about my (hopeful) weight loss journey, I will be able to look back on here and see how far I've come and it will be motivation for me to keep going.
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